I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
