Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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