so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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