Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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