Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
COCAINE IS GR8
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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