I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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