What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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