love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
