If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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