i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
