other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
