I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
