***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
