I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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