woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Come see our sink grown plant.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
