Just mADE A PArabola og urine
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
