that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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