well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
