I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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