You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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