I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
