kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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