The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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