i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
