I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize