if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize