Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
