"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
