You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
