the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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