I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
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