Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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