apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize