Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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