I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
