god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
