The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
