god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
