PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize