If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
