I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
