Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
