My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
