mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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