"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
