Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
