can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
