Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
