and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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