Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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