Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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