i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
no you cant smoke seaweed
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I touched a dick in church today
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
ok first of all what the fuck
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
