He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
