A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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