butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
