I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
