Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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