Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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